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<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Kolya, I\u2019m late again! Maybe we should go buy a test? \u2014 Ksenia looked at her husband with hope, as he lay on the couch, focused on his phone.<\/p>\n
Nikolai looked up and frowned.<\/p>\n
\u2014 Ksenia, how many times do we have to go through this? I told you, now is not the best time for children!<\/p>\n
\u2014 But you yourself dreamed of a big family before the wedding! \u2014 Ksenia sat on the edge of the couch. \u2014 You said you wanted at least two! And now, as soon as there\u2019s a hint of pregnancy, you immediately find a thousand reasons why it\u2019s \u201cnot the right time!\u201d<\/p>\n
Nikolai put down his phone and sat up, rubbing his forehead.<\/p>\n
\u2014 I\u2019m in a critical period at work! I\u2019m advancing, you know that! My career needs attention! Once I\u2019m settled in my new position, we\u2019ll sort out our finances, and then we can talk!<\/p>\n
Ksenia bitterly smiled. This conversation had been repeating between them with enviable regularity for the last two years. First, he had to wait until he became the branch manager, then they had to buy a car, and now it was all about him \u00absettling down.\u00bb There was always a reason to postpone the talk about children.<\/p>\n
\u2014 You know I\u2019m already thirty! \u2014 she said quietly. \u2014 Doctors say that the older you get, the harder it is to get pregnant and carry a baby!<\/p>\n
Kolya waved his hand irritably.<\/p>\n
\u2014 Ksenia, you\u2019re not planning to have a child when you\u2019re fifty! Many women have healthy children even at forty!<\/p>\n
\u2014 But I want it now!<\/p>\n
\u2014 And I don\u2019t! \u2014 he cut her off and picked up his phone again. \u2014 I have an important presentation coming up, I\u2019m preparing the annual report, now\u2019s not the time to be distracted by diapers and sleepless nights!<\/p>\n
Ksenia didn\u2019t answer. She stood up and silently walked to the kitchen. They had been married for three years, and still no children, even though before the wedding, Kolya swore he dreamed of a big family. She loved him, trusted him, and three years ago, when he proposed, she had no doubts. She transferred half of the apartment she inherited from her grandmother into his name, supported him in his career, tolerated his work delays, business trips, and stress.<\/p>\n
But now, sitting in the kitchen with a cup of cold tea, she suddenly realized with piercing clarity that perhaps she had been wrong about him all this time.<\/p>\n
Two days later, Ksenia decided to stop by Kolya\u2019s office early from work \u2014 to invite him to dinner at a caf\u00e9, try again to talk about their future. But as she approached the building, she saw Kolya leaving the office. A young woman was with him \u2014 his secretary, Lisa, whom Ksenia had seen a couple of times at corporate events.<\/p>\n
Ksenia was about to honk the horn, but her hand froze halfway. Kolya leaned toward Lisa and kissed her \u2014 not quickly on the cheek, but long, passionately, on the lips. His hand slid down to her waist and lower, pulling her closer.<\/p>\n
Ksenia\u2019s heart clenched, and nausea rose in her throat. She didn\u2019t honk, didn\u2019t shout, didn\u2019t jump out of the car. She simply watched her husband kiss another woman in the street, unashamed, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.<\/p>\n
When Kolya pulled away from Lisa, he accidentally glanced toward the road and noticed the familiar silver \u00abHonda.\u00bb For a moment, their eyes met through the windshield, and Ksenia saw fear on his face.<\/p>\n
She hit the gas and drove home without looking back. Now everything made sense. He didn\u2019t want children not because of his career or finances. He just had another woman. Maybe more than one.<\/p>\n
At home, Ksenia pulled out a large bag from the closet and began packing Kolya\u2019s things. Slowly. She folded his shirts, pants, socks, underwear. She took his favorite mug off the shelf, cleared his shaving items from the bathroom. Every movement was precise, as if she were carrying out a long-planned operation.<\/p>\n
When the bag was almost full, the front door swung open. Kolya stood in the doorway, out of breath.<\/p>\n
Kolya burst into the apartment like a hurricane, his face pale, his eyes darting around.<\/p>\n
\u2014 Ksenia, this is not what you think! \u2014 he blurted out from the doorway when he saw his wife holding his things.<\/p>\n
Ksenia silently continued packing his clothes into the bag. A sweater, another sweater, a hoodie\u2026<\/p>\n
\u2014 What are you doing? \u2014 Kolya came closer, peering into the bag. \u2014 Why are you packing my things?<\/p>\n
\u2014 What do you think? \u2014 Ksenia\u2019s voice was surprisingly calm. \u2014 I\u2019m packing your things so you can take them and leave! Forever!<\/p>\n
\u2014 Listen, what you saw\u2026 It was just a misunderstanding!<\/p>\n
Ksenia stopped packing the clothes and looked at her husband.<\/p>\n
\u2014 A misunderstanding? You kissed your secretary in the street, and that\u2019s a misunderstanding? \u2014 she shook her head. \u2014 Stop lying, at least now!<\/p>\n
\u2014 But I really can explain! \u2014 Kolya grabbed her hand. \u2014 She came onto me! I pushed her away, but you must have seen the moment when\u2026<\/p>\n
\u2014 Enough! \u2014 Ksenia jerked her hand away. \u2014 I\u2019ve seen enough! You didn\u2019t push her away, you pulled her closer! You kissed her like teenagers, right outside your office, where not only I but also your colleagues could see you!<\/p>\n
Kolya\u2019s face changed. The mask of concern slipped away, replaced by irritation.<\/p>\n
\u2014 So what now? Because of one kiss, you\u2019re going to throw me out of the house?<\/p>\n
\u2014 One kiss? \u2014 Ksenia smiled bitterly. \u2014 Do you really think this is just about the kiss? Do you think I\u2019ll believe that there\u2019s nothing more between you two? That you\u2019re not sleeping together? What about your constant reluctance to have children? Your delays at work? Your business trips? How many times have you lied to me in these three years?<\/p>\n
Kolya stepped back, as if her words physically pushed him. Then his gaze grew harder.<\/p>\n
\u2014 Have you thought about how it is for me with you? \u2014 his voice grew louder. \u2014 All you talk about is children! Children, children, children! Like there\u2019s nothing else in life! Every month, the same thing \u2014 \u201cI\u2019m late, let\u2019s take a test\u201d! Have you thought that maybe I don\u2019t want children with you?<\/p>\n
Ksenia froze, looking at her husband. His words hit harder than a slap.<\/p>\n
\u2014 Then why did you marry me? \u2014 she asked quietly. \u2014 You knew I wanted a family!<\/p>\n
\u2014 Because you were convenient! \u2014 Kolya blurted out. \u2014 You have an apartment, a good job! You took care of me, supported me! But as a woman\u2026 \u2014 he stopped himself, but it was already too late.<\/p>\n
\u2014 Finish your sentence! \u2014 Ksenia said coldly. \u2014 As a woman, I don\u2019t satisfy you, do I?<\/p>\n
Kolya paused, clearly thinking about his next words.<\/p>\n
\u2014 You know, Ksenia, I\u2019ve always felt sorry for you! Though you\u2019re beautiful, absolutely stunning! But\u2026 \u2014 he finally said. \u2014 You have no idea how you look from the outside with your desperate desire to have a child! Like a hen trying to lay an egg! Where\u2019s the passion? Where\u2019s the fire? Where\u2019s the desire? You don\u2019t see me as a man, only as a potential father of your children!<\/p>\n
\u2014 That\u2019s not true! \u2014 Ksenia shook her head. \u2014 I\u2019ve always loved you as a man! I cared for you, supported you in your endeavors\u2026<\/p>\n
\u2014 Yes, and that was convenient, \u2014 Kolya interrupted. \u2014 But it\u2019s not love, it\u2019s care. Like for a child. But I\u2019m a man, I need passion, admiration!<\/p>\n
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<\/p>\n
\u2014 And you found that passion in the arms of your secretary?<\/p>\n
\u2014 Lisa makes me feel like a man! She admires me, looks at me with adoration, not like I\u2019m some stud for breeding!<\/p>\n
Ksenia couldn\u2019t hold back and laughed \u2014 bitterly, with pain.<\/p>\n
\u2014 You know, Kolya, all this time I thought you didn\u2019t want children because of work, because of your career! But it turns out you just don\u2019t want them with me! That explains a lot!<\/p>\n
She zipped up the bag and placed it by the door.<\/p>\n
\u2014 So take your things and go to the one who makes you feel like a man!<\/p>\n
Kolya\u2019s face changed. He clearly didn\u2019t expect such a reaction. Approaching her, he tried to grab Ksenia\u2019s hands.<\/p>\n
\u2014 Ksenia, I\u2019ve overreacted! Let\u2019s forget what I just said! We\u2019re adults, we can talk about everything!<\/p>\n
\u2014 There\u2019s nothing to talk about! \u2014 Ksenia stepped back. \u2014 You\u2019ve said everything! I\u2019m just your convenient housekeeper, whom you\u2019ve tolerated out of pity! Well, you don\u2019t have to tolerate me anymore!<\/p>\n
Kolya started panicking. He understood well that he was losing not only his wife but also the roof over his head, as Ksenia was still the primary owner of the apartment.<\/p>\n
\u2014 You\u2019re just emotional right now! Let\u2019s not make any hasty decisions! \u2014 his voice softened. \u2014 We\u2019ll think it over tomorrow with a clear mind!<\/p>\n
\u2014 No, Kolya! The decision is already made! Leave!<\/p>\n
Kolya stood still for several seconds, clearly calculating his options. Then he changed tactics.<\/p>\n
\u2014 Ksenia, you know I\u2019m not going anywhere! \u2014 he said quietly but firmly. \u2014 This apartment is my home! I\u2019m registered here, I have rights to it!<\/p>\n
\u2014 A share! You have a share! \u2014 Ksenia corrected. \u2014 And I\u2019m willing to pay you its value! But you won\u2019t live here anymore!<\/p>\n
\u2014 You really think you can just throw me out like this? \u2014 Kolya sneered. \u2014 And where will I go? I don\u2019t have anywhere else to stay!<\/p>\n
\u2014 That\u2019s not my problem! Go to your Lisa! \u2014 Ksenia shrugged. \u2014 Or to your parents! Or rent an apartment \u2014 with your salary, you can afford it!<\/p>\n
Kolya nervously ran his hand through his hair.<\/p>\n
\u2014 Listen, I overreacted! I said too much! But you won\u2019t throw me out on the street, will you? Let\u2019s cool off, we\u2019ll talk tomorrow!<\/p>\n
\u2014 No! No \u201ctomorrow\u201d! You\u2019re leaving today!<\/p>\n
Kolya went to the window, turning his back on his wife. His shoulders slumped.<\/p>\n
\u2014 Do you really want this? \u2014 he asked quietly. \u2014 To destroy everything we had?<\/p>\n
\u2014 You destroyed it! \u2014 Ksenia answered. \u2014 The moment you decided you needed another woman!<\/p>\n
\u2014 I love you! \u2014 Kolya suddenly said, turning sharply. \u2014 I\u2019ve always loved you! Yes, I got confused, I made a mistake! But can\u2019t you give me a chance?<\/p>\n
Ksenia looked at her husband and didn\u2019t recognize him. Where had his self-confidence gone? His arrogance? Now standing before her was a lost man with a pleading look.<\/p>\n
\u2014 I\u2019m still your husband! \u2014 Kolya continued. \u2014 We promised each other we\u2019d always be together, in faithfulness! Yes, I stumbled, but I\u2019m ready to fix everything! Give me a chance!<\/p>\n
\u2014 A chance for what? \u2014 Ksenia asked. \u2014 So you can continue cheating on me and lying about not wanting children?<\/p>\n
\u2014 I\u2019ll change! I promise! \u2014 he came closer, trying to take her hand. \u2014 If you want, we\u2019ll start having a baby right now! I\u2019m ready!<\/p>\n
\u2014 Now you\u2019re ready? \u2014 Ksenia pulled her hand away. \u2014 After I caught you with your mistress? And you think I\u2019ll believe you?<\/p>\n
\u2014 I swear to you, I\u2019ll cut ties with Lisa! \u2014 Kolya nearly begged. \u2014 She means nothing to me! It was a moment of weakness!<\/p>\n
\u2014 A weakness that lasted who knows how long! \u2014 Ksenia said coldly. \u2014 And which explains your reluctance to have children with me!<\/p>\n
Kolya sat down on the couch, holding his head in his hands.<\/p>\n
\u2014 What can I do to make you believe me? I\u2019ll call her in front of you and tell her it\u2019s over!<\/p>\n
\u2014 Don\u2019t! \u2014 Ksenia shook her head. \u2014 I\u2019m not interested! Our marriage is over, Kolya! I\u2019m filing for divorce!<\/p>\n
At the word \u201cdivorce,\u201d Kolya flinched. He looked up, and in his eyes, Ksenia saw fear \u2014 real, unfeigned fear.<\/p>\n
\u2014 Ksenia, don\u2019t do this! \u2014 he said. \u2014 We bought the car together! In a divorce, you can claim half\u2026<\/p>\n
That\u2019s what it was. It wasn\u2019t love, it wasn\u2019t family, it wasn\u2019t relationships that worried him \u2014 it was the property. The car they bought a year ago and he was so proud of. Ksenia felt the last remnants of affection for this man fade away in her heart.<\/p>\n
\u2014 Yes, Kolya! \u2014 she said calmly. \u2014 In the divorce, I\u2019ll claim half the car! It\u2019s my legal right! Just like the right to throw you out of my apartment!<\/p>\n
\u2014 You can\u2019t do that! \u2014 he jumped off the couch. \u2014 I\u2019ve invested so much in that car! I\u2019ve been paying the loan!<\/p>\n
\u2014 We both paid! \u2014 Ksenia reminded him. \u2014 And I\u2019ll keep doing that after the divorce! And then, when the loan is paid off, I\u2019ll sell my share!<\/p>\n
Kolya grabbed his head.<\/p>\n
\u2014 Please, Ksenia! Don\u2019t do this! I\u2019m begging you! \u2014 his voice cracked, and Ksenia was surprised to see tears in her husband\u2019s eyes. \u2014 I love you so much, I can\u2019t live without you! Give me another chance, I swear, I\u2019ll be the perfect husband!<\/p>\n
He really knelt before her, trying to embrace her legs. Ksenia stepped back, feeling disgusted.<\/p>\n
\u2014 No! Don\u2019t try to guilt-trip me, Kolya! You won\u2019t live in my apartment anymore! Go to your little slut!<\/p>\n
Kolya stood up from his knees, his face instantly changing. The tears were gone, the pleading expression was gone \u2014 now, in front of Ksenia, stood an angry, furious man.<\/p>\n
\u2014 You\u2019re disgusting! \u2014 he hissed through his teeth. \u2014 You think it\u2019ll be better without me? Who needs you with your obsession with children?<\/p>\n
\u2014 It\u2019s already better! \u2014 Ksenia replied calmly. \u2014 Now I see the real you, not the pathetic mask you just tried to put on!<\/p>\n
\u2014 Don\u2019t be so sure! \u2014 Kolya grabbed the bag with his things. \u2014 When you realize it, it\u2019ll be too late! I won\u2019t come back, even if you beg!<\/p>\n
\u2014 Don\u2019t worry, I won\u2019t! \u2014 Ksenia went to the door and opened it.<\/p>\n
Kolya looked around the apartment as if trying to memorize or find something valuable to take with him. Then, without saying another word, he rushed out the door.<\/p>\n
Ksenia closed it behind him, turned the key in the lock, and leaned against the door. Only now, when he was gone, did she feel her hands trembling. But it wasn\u2019t trembling from despair \u2014 it was liberation. Like the heavy burden she had been carrying for the past few years had finally fallen off her shoulders.<\/p>\n
Three months passed. Much had changed in Ksenia\u2019s life during that time. She filed for divorce, and the process was going smoothly. Kolya tried to drag it out, called her for \u201cpeace talks,\u201d even tried to talk about reconciliation again, but Ksenia was unwavering.<\/p>\n
One spring day, sitting in a caf\u00e9 with her friend Alia, Ksenia was telling her about the last meeting with her almost ex-husband.<\/p>\n
\u2014 Can you believe it, yesterday he calls me and asks for a meeting! \u2014 Ksenia stirred her cappuccino. \u2014 He says it\u2019s an important conversation! I agreed, thinking maybe something really important!<\/p>\n
\u2014 And what happened? \u2014 Alia asked curiously.<\/p>\n
\u2014 That Lisa kicked him out! \u2014 Ksenia couldn\u2019t hold back a smirk. \u2014 Apparently, after our breakup, he moved in with her! But yesterday, she threw him out because she found herself a \u201cmore promising guy\u201d \u2014 some director from another department! Now Kolya\u2019s staying with friends and trying to get back into my place!<\/p>\n
\u2014 Seriously? And what did you say?<\/p>\n
\u2014 I said I don\u2019t care about his housing problems! \u2014 Ksenia shrugged. \u2014 He tried to guilt-trip me, saying I\u2019m cruel and heartless! But you know what? I really don\u2019t care! I don\u2019t feel anything for him anymore \u2014 not love, not hate! Just emptiness!<\/p>\n
Alia nodded approvingly.<\/p>\n
\u2014 That\u2019s a good sign! It means you really let him go!<\/p>\n
\u2014 Yes! \u2014 Ksenia smiled. \u2014 And you know what\u2019s the most interesting? I\u2019ve signed up for a consultation at the fertility clinic! I decided not to wait for the \u201cperfect moment\u201d or the \u201cright man\u201d! If I want a child \u2014 I can do it myself!<\/p>\n
\u2014 That\u2019s a brave decision! \u2014 Alia squeezed her friend\u2019s hand. \u2014 I\u2019m proud of you!<\/p>\n
A week later, Ksenia met Kolya at the courthouse building. Today, their divorce hearing was scheduled. Kolya looked haggard, unkempt \u2014 his gray suit was wrinkled, his stubble unshaven, dark circles under his eyes.<\/p>\n
\u2014 Ksenia, can we talk again? \u2014 he began as soon as she approached. \u2014 I\u2019ve rethought a lot\u2026<\/p>\n
\u2014 No, Kolya! \u2014 Ksenia answered firmly. \u2014 We\u2019ve already discussed everything! Today the court will put an end to our relationship!<\/p>\n
\u2014 But the car\u2026 \u2014 his voice quivered. \u2014 Don\u2019t take the car from me at least! It\u2019s all I have left!<\/p>\n
\u2014 I\u2019m not taking it! \u2014 Ksenia replied calmly. \u2014 I\u2019m asking for my rightful share! You can buy it from me if you want to keep the car entirely!<\/p>\n
\u2014 You know I don\u2019t have that kind of money! \u2014 he exclaimed. \u2014 They demoted me after the whole story with Lisa! I can barely make ends meet!<\/p>\n
\u2014 Then you\u2019ll have to sell the car and divide the money! Or give me my share in my apartment! \u2014 Ksenia shrugged.<\/p>\n
There was anger flashing in Kolya\u2019s eyes, but he held back.<\/p>\n
\u2014 You\u2019ve changed! \u2014 he said quietly. \u2014 You used to be softer, kinder!<\/p>\n
\u2014 I haven\u2019t changed! \u2014 Ksenia smiled. \u2014 I just stopped letting you manipulate me!<\/p>\n
An hour later, leaving the courthouse as a divorced woman, Ksenia took a deep breath of the spring air. Ahead of her was a new life \u2014 without lies, without manipulation, without constant excuses. A life in which she made decisions and took responsibility for them.<\/p>\n
Her phone rang. A message appeared on the screen from the fertility clinic: \u201cDear Ksenia, a reminder that your initial consultation with Dr. Smirnova is scheduled for tomorrow at 10:00.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ksenia smiled. Tomorrow, her journey toward motherhood would begin. A journey that she would take on her terms, in her time\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Kolya, I\u2019m late again! Maybe we should go buy a test? \u2014 Ksenia looked at her husband with hope, as he lay on the couch, focused on… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":25376,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-25375","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\n