The ability to have our relatives watch our kids while we work is a huge benefit, especially if there is no cost involved. But given all the arguments we’ve had with our parents, is it reasonable to demand this assistance from them?

Since turning eighteen, my daughter Amy has shown no interest in me. She didn’t extend an invitation to me for any significant life events, such as her engagement or graduation. We don’t talk much because of this. She recently contacted me. She has two boys now. We discussed it after I was taken aback. After a while, Amy started complaining about how difficult it was to raise her kids by herself. She begged me to be a good grandma and watch them on Saturdays. I informed her that I was no longer able to care for her children since she had long since strained our bond. She stopped me from going anywhere and called me selfish. Was it inappropriate of me to turn down my daughter’s request for help with the kids after everything we had? I would appreciate your thoughts and any beneficial guidance you could provide.

We appreciate you getting in touch and expressing your worries to us regarding your daughter’s circumstances. We are aware of how difficult and uncomfortable this circumstance must be for you. Here are some useful and reasonable suggestions based on your description to assist you in handling this situation:

• Be aware of your rights. Especially considering how poorly your daughter treated you, you are under no need to assist her with her children. You are entitled to establish limits and safeguard your emotional well-being. Saying no to her irrational request does not make you a selfish person.

• Look for the causes. Make an effort to comprehend your daughter’s rejection and decision to cut you out of her life. Perhaps there was something about your relationship that made her feel uneasy. Perhaps she had personal issues or was influenced by someone else. Make an effort to understand her and consider things from her point of view.

Advise her honestly. It’s important for you to let your daughter know how you feel and what you expect. Express your love and your want to be a part of her life to her. Express your grief at being left out of her wedding, holidays, and other festivities. Rebuild your friendship and trust by telling her what you need from her.

• Take into account your family’s other members. The effect your choice will have on your other children and grandkids is something else you should think about. Regarding your daughter’s actions and your reaction, what are their thoughts? Do they wish you to make amends with your daughter, or do they support you? Do they get along well with their nephews and sister? What impact will your choice have on harmony and family dynamics?

• Keep in mind that your grandchildren are not accountable for their mother’s behavior. It is equally important for you to consider the welfare of your daughter’s offspring. Since they are naive, kids ought to have a caring and encouraging grandmother. A stable home environment and a positive role model may also be beneficial to them. Are you interested in forming a relationship with them? Would you like to be blind to their development and growth?

• Consult an expert for assistance. It’s advisable that you look into the potential of receiving expert assistance for both your daughter and yourself. Perhaps there are some underlying problems that require attention and resolution. Perhaps in order to move past your differences and enhance your communication, you two need some direction and counseling. To get to a compromise and an agreement, perhaps you both need some mediation and assistance.

• Keep the implications in mind. It’s also a good idea to be ready for any fallout from your choice. Should you choose to assist your daughter with her children, you can encounter certain obstacles and hurdles. You might have to put up with her demands and attitude. You might have to give up a little bit of your time and effort. You might experience some annoyance and hostility.
Should you choose not to assist your daughter with her children, you can encounter opposition and censure. Her enmity and rage may be something you have to live with. You might experience some remorse and guilt.

• Don’t be afraid to ask loved ones for advice. Additionally, keep in mind that you are not by yourself in this circumstance. There are other friends and family members who love and support you. You can ask them for help, consolation, and guidance. You can also become a part of networks or groups, both online and offline, of parents who have gone through comparable struggles and experiences. They can impart wisdom, ideas, and stories that you can use.

With any luck, this will enable the woman to decide what’s best for her family and herself.