Well-fed and unusually calm, have reportedly been standing shoulder to shoulder, occasionally exchanging nods and guttural grunts. Some are even holding up crude wooden signs that, while unreadable, have fueled concerns that bears may now be literate.

Scientists are scrambling to understand the cause of the gathering, with theories ranging from early hibernation confusion to Yellowstone finally becoming the first national park to unionize under bear leadership. However, the most chilling hypothesis is that the bears sense an impending event—one that human scientists have failed to detect.

“What if they’re trying to keep us out for a reason?” whispered park ranger Doug McAllister, staring wide-eyed at the bear barricade. “What do they know that we don’t?”

Adding to the tension, reports are surfacing of elk, moose, and even wolves retreating from the park’s interior at an alarming rate. Conspiracy theorists have already begun speculating about everything from an imminent supervolcano eruption to a long-overdue bison uprising.

For now, Yellowstone remains inaccessible, with local authorities unsure of how to proceed. Some have suggested negotiating with the bears, but others fear such talks could lead to the realization that humanity is, in fact, not at the top of the food chain.

Until more is known, scientists are urging the public to remain calm, avoid feeding the bears, and “maybe just… not go to Yellowstone for a bit.”