My name is Addison, and I’m a neurologist with a demanding job that leaves little room for anything else, especially romance. When my cheerful coworker Nathan set me up on a blind date with his friend Jake, I was intrigued but skeptical. I hadn’t been on a date in ages, and despite my busy schedule, I decided to give it a try.
On Tuesday night, I arrived at a cozy restaurant Nathan had recommended. The warm ambiance was a welcome change from my usual routine. I spotted Jake, who looked up and smiled as I approached. We shook hands, and I took a seat. As we ordered drinks and appetizers, our conversation flowed easily. Jake seemed genuinely interested in my work and hobbies.
As the evening progressed, we talked about our future plans. Jake asked me about my goals for the next few years. I shared that I wanted to advance in my career, redecorate my apartment, possibly get a pet, and travel more. I also mentioned that while I was open to a relationship, I wasn’t in a hurry to get married or have children. I believed in building a strong foundation, which for me meant a three-year timeline: six months to get to know someone, a year of dating, and a year and a half of living together before considering marriage.
Jake’s demeanor shifted noticeably. He leaned back, crossing his arms. “Three years? That’s a long time. What if someone wants a quicker timeline?”
I felt a knot in my stomach. “I think it’s important to build a strong relationship,” I said, trying to stay calm.
Without another word, Jake called the waitress for the check and paid swiftly. He stood up and left the restaurant, leaving me stunned and confused. I tried messaging him later, asking why he left so abruptly, but he responded with a curt message: “Don’t contact me again. You’re indecisive and not serious about what you want,” before blocking me.
The next day, I spoke with Nathan, who seemed uncomfortable. He admitted that Jake was looking for something more immediate and didn’t appreciate my three-year rule. “Sorry, I should have known,” Nathan said.
I called my best friend Sophie, who reassured me. “Being honest about your expectations is important. If he couldn’t handle that, it’s his loss. Everyone has their own timeline.”
Her words were comforting, but I still wondered if I was too rigid with my expectations. Was my three-year rule really that unusual? All I know is that I need to stay true to myself, even if it means losing a potential partner.
What would you have done?
