A 30-year-old man, known as OP, recently sought advice on Reddit regarding his fiancée’s decision to quit her job. OP, a researcher at a tech company, is concerned that his 26-year-old fiancée might be a gold-digger. They met at work 2.5 years ago, and their relationship seemed strong. OP, who has ADD, values her organizational skills and support.
Financially, OP earns significantly more than his fiancée—fifteen times her salary. Despite this, they managed their finances proportionally, with OP covering most expenses and suggesting she use her income to pay off student loans. This arrangement worked until the engagement.
When OP proposed, his fiancée requested a $15,000 diamond ring. OP, uncomfortable with the expense but wanting to please her, agreed. However, she frequently highlighted the ring’s price, which made him uneasy.
The main issue arose when his fiancée announced her intention to quit her job after the wedding to focus on wedding planning and become a stay-at-home fiancée. OP was surprised, as she had never expressed a desire to leave her job. He was concerned about her financial independence and their future stability, especially if something happened to him or if he faced career setbacks.
Reddit reactions were mixed:
1. **Gold-Digger Accusations:** Some users labeled her a gold-digger, noting her interest in an expensive ring and desire to quit her job as red flags. They suggested a prenuptial agreement to protect OP’s assets and recommended discussing her long-term plans thoroughly.
2. **Understanding Her Perspective:** Others sympathized with her situation, acknowledging the stress of her job and wedding planning. They suggested a temporary leave or part-time work might be a better solution than quitting entirely.
3. **Future Planning:** Concerns were also raised about her long-term plans. Critics advised OP to ensure she had a concrete plan for her future, such as further education or a new career path.
After reflecting on the feedback and discussing it with his fiancée, OP learned that she felt overwhelmed by her job and the wedding preparations. They agreed she would seek a new job or further education after their honeymoon. She assured OP she did not want to be a trophy wife and was committed to contributing to their future.
